So, lots of things are going on. Things for me feel like they are going in the right direction, a good direction. But apparently I have really rattled some cages. My dad is barely speaking to me and I can only chalk it up to our decision to move to Tennessee. My ex husband is no longer speaking to me either. And I am fairly sure that there are more people than that that are irritated by that.
Our wedding day was Friday Oct. 8, 2010 at 1:15 pm. We were at the courthouse with a judge and my "dress" for the day was jeans, a beautiful purple blouse, and a grey cardigan (?). And Jeremy was in a plaid green shirt and nice dress pants. It was definetely NOT the wedding day that I had wanted or imagined for my 2nd wedding but, I can't say that I regret any of it. Except now I feel a little silly going ahead with my big wedding in May like we had planned. But by the same token, I have my dress, Alana's dress, the site reserved, the deposit paid onthe photographer and already had so many things planned out.
Now we are officially married, we had Friday, Saturday, and Sunday together and he is headed back to Tennessee as we speak. I HATE him being gone. I don't like being by myself with the kids, I don't like going to bed without him, I don't like not waking up with him in the morning. But right now I feel like we are so stuck where we are. We have to go to court to get approval (Win the right!) to take Austin and Alana out of state. And since my ex will not even TALK to me about a different type of schedule for him and them, I have only 2 choices and one isn't even a choice. I can move and let him have custody (SO NOT GONNA HAPPEN) or I can pay a shitload of money (again) to my attorney to take this to court. I understand WHY he is doing this. I mean I get the fact that it is a really bad thing for him to have forced upon him. But...he can't keep me here, and I was going to make it as good as I could for him. So we are left getting the money together to pay to the attorney (who is awesome btw). But he told me that it could take up to 7-8 months to get it before a judge. So it will be probably next summer before we are there.
Then you have my family...I don't even know where to begin. (and if you are family reading this you had BETTER keep it to yourself or you will be blocked from seeing all my personal stuff!) I understand that my dad doesn't want me to leave either. I get that. I truly do. But do you get that this is bettering my life and situation? Do you understand that this is a big opportunity for Jeremy along with being somewhere I have always wanted to be? Do you understand that it is fairly sudden but that is how opportunity is? You have to make a choice one way or the other. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I just wish that you would support me even though you may not agree with my decision. YOU are the one that said that you can't make my decision for me, so please don't get weird and distant when I make the decision that you said you couldn't make for me. (even though it was apparently the wrong one in your opinion)
Who does this? We had Gavin's party on Sunday. Yes it was shorter notice. about a week and a half. But with everything that I had to get done this weekend, (2 birthday parties for Gavin {one at the bowling alley for his friends from school and one at our house for family}, a marriage on Friday that only 3 people were at besides our children, and Jeremy and I wanting to spend a little time together before he went back) I didn't have too much time to really get it all done. Oh yea, cuz in case you can't remember I do work full time....every day....and I do girlscouts with alana...and I have a 13 month old who gets into everything and when you don't bother to childproof your house, why would I bring them there for you to yell at?...and do you have any idea exactly HOW much homework 3 children can bring home in ONE night? Each one of them has DAILY spelling words, usually a math worksheet or two, a book to read for class, a book to read for the AR program, Sentences to write out for spelling words and usually a few other pieces. How long has it been since you have listened to a 7 year old read a book? especially one with chapters? or one that is JUST now learning most words? How bout going back to 6th grade Math? with a child who is failing math? and every other class that he is in? But I digress. I have ooooodles of spare time to come visit, write on your calendar, call to remind you of a date and time, and sometimes even pick you up because you don't have a liscense...because YOU found time to go to a bar, get drunk, drive, and get caught thankfully without killing anyone... So in all that spare time, I didn't call but you know what????
I had a 7 year old who was wondering why only his babysitter and gma and gpa showed up for his birthday....how sad is that? We had a good time anyway, but he was still pretty hurt that no one else showed up. SO a big fat kiss my ass to any of you who say that I never come and visit. or I never call... You should be ashamed of how you made that little boy feel. And all because you are in a tizzy over a decision that you said you couldn't make for me. Or how you felt I did something wrong by not doing exactly as you thought I should have.
Oh yea, and to my newest father in law. YOU are an effin prick. Your son wanted to show you our marriage certificate and you said not one word to him. And then you wonder why we don't see you. Or maybe you don't. I don't really care one way or the other. I am in love with your son, we are making a life together with or without you in it. Thanks btw for being able to show up for 20 min to see your oldest grandson on the day of his party. He liked the toy and card but probably would have liked to see you. But you were busy. Had to get to the Rivermen game...But so glad you could fit it in.
One last one. I miss my love. I hate the fact that we got just about one day with each other after our wedding. I am ready to be in Tennessee so if anyone wants to contribute to the "he should have learned last time fund" call me! :)
Oh and a big PS... IF you call me and yell at me or just randomly gripe at me I probably won't answer my phone as often as you would like. I don't like being made to feel crappy or hearing the bullshit and MY phone is for MY convenience NOT yours. Have a good day!
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