Ch ch changes!!!
So tomorrow I go back to work full time. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I am looking forward to being out of the house again. I haven't been in that world for a while and I am super excited!
Two Women
I am not sure why, but each and every year, mother's day is a force to be reckoned with. Sometimes it is a decent day and other days it is overcome with sadness. I love my life and my family but I have a huge hole in my life where my mom is supposed to be. I will never get over losing her. Ever. It does get a little easier but I am a changed woman forever because of her.
This year was especially tough. I lost my 2nd mom Deborah Whitman 2 years ago. Not having either of my moms is as you can imagine, even worse. I know there are people who would probably get mad at me for calling her that but what else am I supposed to call her? When I was growing up, she helped form me and mold me into the person that I am today. She helped me with my struggles with my biological mother and father. She was and is as much as a mom to me as my own. And I mourn her every day just like I do my own mom. She was a fantastic friend, mentor, and mom. I am afraid that parts of her family will be upset with me calling her mom since she didn't birth me. But I have to write this and I hope that I do no irreparable damage to any of our relationships. When I lost my mother Cheryl, I was a wreck and extremely sensitive. I still am where that is concerned so I know that I run a high risk of someone getting mad at me. That is not my intent. I HAVE to express some of MY grief at losing YOUR mom that I shared. So please don't berate me or hate me for this.
I have two women in my life that are the most influential people in my life. I am choosing to write about Debbie first because I have written about mom a lot and I have held off on Debbie for fear of hurting her biological children. It is time I say some things for me and whoever chooses to read this that have LONG been needing said. I was at church today and they were honoring members of the congregation for being such strong women of faith. While I agree with all of them in the church, I have met very few who could hold a candle to the faith that Deborah Whitman had. She was such a lover, giver, and wonderful woman of the Lord. She lived every day thankful for the gifts that He gave her and blessed her with.
I am so blessed to have had this woman that I called Momma Deb or Deb-roo in my life. Losing her shook me to the core. I am never going to get over losing her either.
Cheryl Lynn Haynes... Where to begin. You shaped me into who I am. You and I had some hellacious fights, some fantastically funny laughs, and shared and odd sense of humor. I loved you from the start and to the very end and even more so today since I am a mom of 4 children. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't want you here and in my life. I am terrified that my babies will forget you. I hate that they don't have you in their life to learn from and have as grandma. My life with you changed the entire course of my being. From our teenage fights, to you helping me get through Austin's beginning of life, and oh so much more. You were the most honorable woman. Thoughtful and caring. Crying over a dead frog that we accidentally ran over. Crying when Mike shot his deer. You loved all creatures big and small. All children "good kids" or "trouble makers". You were always there for the underdog.
I am lost most days without you. I hate being so jealous of people who have their mom. I lost both of mine. and way too young. Not as young as some but I still need you every day. It hurts me that you hurt so bad at the end of your life. I hope that you can look down on me and KNOW that I did everything in my power to help you and make sure that you knew you were loved and I did everything that I could to make sure you didn't want for anything. I am comforted in knowing that I put everything out there and did everything up to and including putting my life on hold to take care of you your last year alive. I didn't do it for glory and kudos. I did it because Iloved you more than life itself. I tried every way that I could to make you keep fighting and stay. And I understand that you were tired and couldn't. But I still hurt everyday. and wonder what I could have done different.
People tell me that I am starting to look like you and act like you. I could only hope to be so lucky to be half the woman you were. YOU are the epitome of strength
This year was especially tough. I lost my 2nd mom Deborah Whitman 2 years ago. Not having either of my moms is as you can imagine, even worse. I know there are people who would probably get mad at me for calling her that but what else am I supposed to call her? When I was growing up, she helped form me and mold me into the person that I am today. She helped me with my struggles with my biological mother and father. She was and is as much as a mom to me as my own. And I mourn her every day just like I do my own mom. She was a fantastic friend, mentor, and mom. I am afraid that parts of her family will be upset with me calling her mom since she didn't birth me. But I have to write this and I hope that I do no irreparable damage to any of our relationships. When I lost my mother Cheryl, I was a wreck and extremely sensitive. I still am where that is concerned so I know that I run a high risk of someone getting mad at me. That is not my intent. I HAVE to express some of MY grief at losing YOUR mom that I shared. So please don't berate me or hate me for this.
I have two women in my life that are the most influential people in my life. I am choosing to write about Debbie first because I have written about mom a lot and I have held off on Debbie for fear of hurting her biological children. It is time I say some things for me and whoever chooses to read this that have LONG been needing said. I was at church today and they were honoring members of the congregation for being such strong women of faith. While I agree with all of them in the church, I have met very few who could hold a candle to the faith that Deborah Whitman had. She was such a lover, giver, and wonderful woman of the Lord. She lived every day thankful for the gifts that He gave her and blessed her with.
I am so blessed to have had this woman that I called Momma Deb or Deb-roo in my life. Losing her shook me to the core. I am never going to get over losing her either.
Cheryl Lynn Haynes... Where to begin. You shaped me into who I am. You and I had some hellacious fights, some fantastically funny laughs, and shared and odd sense of humor. I loved you from the start and to the very end and even more so today since I am a mom of 4 children. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't want you here and in my life. I am terrified that my babies will forget you. I hate that they don't have you in their life to learn from and have as grandma. My life with you changed the entire course of my being. From our teenage fights, to you helping me get through Austin's beginning of life, and oh so much more. You were the most honorable woman. Thoughtful and caring. Crying over a dead frog that we accidentally ran over. Crying when Mike shot his deer. You loved all creatures big and small. All children "good kids" or "trouble makers". You were always there for the underdog.
I am lost most days without you. I hate being so jealous of people who have their mom. I lost both of mine. and way too young. Not as young as some but I still need you every day. It hurts me that you hurt so bad at the end of your life. I hope that you can look down on me and KNOW that I did everything in my power to help you and make sure that you knew you were loved and I did everything that I could to make sure you didn't want for anything. I am comforted in knowing that I put everything out there and did everything up to and including putting my life on hold to take care of you your last year alive. I didn't do it for glory and kudos. I did it because Iloved you more than life itself. I tried every way that I could to make you keep fighting and stay. And I understand that you were tired and couldn't. But I still hurt everyday. and wonder what I could have done different.
People tell me that I am starting to look like you and act like you. I could only hope to be so lucky to be half the woman you were. YOU are the epitome of strength
My 100 things I am thankful for
1. Warm Water
2. Warm Weather
3. Toilet paper
4. Austin
5. Alana
6. Gavin
7. Katie
8. Jeremy
9. My family
10. The 28years I had with my mother before losing her
11. The 27 years I had with my oldest brother before he left this world.
12. Good friends
13. a house
14. a good job
15. an excellent boss
16. Sunshine
17. Spring
18. Dr. Pepper
19. Yorkies
20. My backbone
21. My car
22. My health
23. broccoli
24. Running water
25. Electricity
26. Democracy
27. The good relationship I have with my kids
28. The strained relationship I have with some family members (it is better than none, right?)
29. Books
30. Writing
31. My sight
32. Garbage service
33. Blood donation
34. Organ donation
35. The ability of Medical Science to use both.
36. My mother in law
37. A washer
38. A dryer
39. A good sex life
40. Depression medication
41. The telephone
42. Music
43. computers
44. Internet
45. scrapbooking
46. digital scrapbooking
47. Furnaces
48. central air conditioning
49. my hearing
50. An ex husband. (not sarcastic or mean. He taught me a lot about who I am and how to stand up for myself and my kids)
51. The friendship and love that I have with my husband that will take us through anything
52. Friends that have known me since the very beginning
53. Friends that have recently came to be
54. My extended family
55. Opportunities
56. Fountain sodas
57. My bed to sleep in
58. Enough
59.POST IT NOTES!!! (love those little suckers)
60. cookie dough ice cream
61. camera & ability to take ok pictures
62. prayers answered and unanswered
63. karma
64. Girlscouts
65. feminine hygene products
66. liquid stitch
67. divine intervention
68. vacations
69. laughter
70. soap
71. penicillin
72. teachers
73. dentists
74. pretty sunsets
75. Daylight savings time
76. my kids health
77. weekends that Jeremy is home
78. caller ID
79. Facebook
80. Paper towels
81. Towels that are really soft and fluffy
82. Pens that write really nice
83. Automatic transmissions
84. The ability to forgive without forgetting
85. Laptops
86. The opportunity to go to school to get a degree that is way over due
87. Chili
88. Honey Bunches of Oats
89. Friends that are meant to be put into your life for a reason
90. Sleeping in on the weekends
91. The ability to do whatever I want basically
92. nailpolish
93. Tall chunky shoes that are cute
94. birds that make a lot of noise as they are in the trees flying south for the winter
95. My kids ability to adjust
96. God
97. Feeling Him working in my life
98. My ability to write well
99. friends that leave your life for a reason
100. My heart and all the things and people in it and how much it can hold.
2. Warm Weather
3. Toilet paper
4. Austin
5. Alana
6. Gavin
7. Katie
8. Jeremy
9. My family
10. The 28years I had with my mother before losing her
11. The 27 years I had with my oldest brother before he left this world.
12. Good friends
13. a house
14. a good job
15. an excellent boss
16. Sunshine
17. Spring
18. Dr. Pepper
19. Yorkies
20. My backbone
21. My car
22. My health
23. broccoli
24. Running water
25. Electricity
26. Democracy
27. The good relationship I have with my kids
28. The strained relationship I have with some family members (it is better than none, right?)
29. Books
30. Writing
31. My sight
32. Garbage service
33. Blood donation
34. Organ donation
35. The ability of Medical Science to use both.
36. My mother in law
37. A washer
38. A dryer
39. A good sex life
40. Depression medication
41. The telephone
42. Music
43. computers
44. Internet
45. scrapbooking
46. digital scrapbooking
47. Furnaces
48. central air conditioning
49. my hearing
50. An ex husband. (not sarcastic or mean. He taught me a lot about who I am and how to stand up for myself and my kids)
51. The friendship and love that I have with my husband that will take us through anything
52. Friends that have known me since the very beginning
53. Friends that have recently came to be
54. My extended family
55. Opportunities
56. Fountain sodas
57. My bed to sleep in
58. Enough
59.POST IT NOTES!!! (love those little suckers)
60. cookie dough ice cream
61. camera & ability to take ok pictures
62. prayers answered and unanswered
63. karma
64. Girlscouts
65. feminine hygene products
66. liquid stitch
67. divine intervention
68. vacations
69. laughter
70. soap
71. penicillin
72. teachers
73. dentists
74. pretty sunsets
75. Daylight savings time
76. my kids health
77. weekends that Jeremy is home
78. caller ID
79. Facebook
80. Paper towels
81. Towels that are really soft and fluffy
82. Pens that write really nice
83. Automatic transmissions
84. The ability to forgive without forgetting
85. Laptops
86. The opportunity to go to school to get a degree that is way over due
87. Chili
88. Honey Bunches of Oats
89. Friends that are meant to be put into your life for a reason
90. Sleeping in on the weekends
91. The ability to do whatever I want basically
92. nailpolish
93. Tall chunky shoes that are cute
94. birds that make a lot of noise as they are in the trees flying south for the winter
95. My kids ability to adjust
96. God
97. Feeling Him working in my life
98. My ability to write well
99. friends that leave your life for a reason
100. My heart and all the things and people in it and how much it can hold.
4 years
Four years can be a lifetime, a minute, or something in between. For the high school student, four years seems like it will never end. There will be no end to the 4 years of sitting at that desk and taking all those tests. 4 years to the couple waiting to adopt or having fertility issues can seem like a lifetime. Four years, to a mother seems like it is so quick. Four years to a friend whom you haven't spoken to can seem like ages. In a matter of four years, everything that you thought you knew can change and people you thought you knew aren't who you thought. Four years can be the blink of an eye, or eternity.
My four years without my big brother have been the most difficult of my life. On one hand it has went way too fast. My children are so much bigger now than they were four years ago. One wasn't even a twinkle in this mama's eye. I have felt like I have had to forge my way ahead without any guidance or without any sounding board or having the protection you feel from a big "bad" brother.
My life will never be the same without Mike in it. There is an empty spot in my heart and life that will never be filled. He was the tormenter, the guide, the comic relief, the "it will all be better big huge hugger", the ponytail pulling, gap toothed grinning, big hearted brother.
I wonder how much my children remember about him. When he died Austin was 8, Alana and Gavin were 4. Do they remember that he loved them more than anything in the world? Do they know that he would have done anything in the world for them? I know they don't know that he tried so hard to have me give him one of them to raise as his own. And he was completely serious. Does Austin remember all the days that even though Mike was tired he still always made time to take him on a tractor ride, or let him help with something in the garage. Austin thought the sun rose and set in his butt. There was no one in the world that Austin loved more than Mike. He had such a bond with him that I know came from him being one of the few people that were there for me during Austin's first year and the horribleness that it was. If it wasn't for him, mom, and Pat, I wouldn't have survived 1999.
Alana. She says she misses him and remembers things about him. But that is hard for me to believe. When she came around Mike started being missing a lot. He missed so much of Alana & Gavin's lives because of her. Does she remember that he started her nickname Boogerbutt? And how he was always grossed out because of her constantly running nose?
I remember the first day after he had passed. I drove to mom's house and his truck was in the driveway and like it always did, my heart skipped a beat because I was so happy to see my brother (He had just started coming around regularly again) only to realize that it was only his truck. I remember a ton of bad stuff but I am not going to dwell on it. I remember so many good things and the closeness that we had finally regained once she left the picture. I wish to GOD every day that he would have listened to me and left to go to MO to see grandma & grandpa for Thanksgiving. I wish I could have convinced him. I never want to relive that night and thankfully it has become a lot less frequent in the last year. My heart rebreaks everytime that I remember something else or find something else. Every milestone that I make that he never did makes me sad. He never saw 30. he never bought his own house. He never knew the wonder of seeing his first born baby all bloody and ugly. So many things that he never got to do. He always said he would die young. I just wish he had been wrong.
So in tribute to my brother, Michael Ray Haynes, I ask you all to live your life to the fullest because you never know what is going to happen. Dance like no one is watching, Sing like no one is listening, and Love like there is no tomorrow. Because there just might not be.
Forever missing my big brother; Rest in Peace Mikey, 11-22-07. I will never forget.
My four years without my big brother have been the most difficult of my life. On one hand it has went way too fast. My children are so much bigger now than they were four years ago. One wasn't even a twinkle in this mama's eye. I have felt like I have had to forge my way ahead without any guidance or without any sounding board or having the protection you feel from a big "bad" brother.
My life will never be the same without Mike in it. There is an empty spot in my heart and life that will never be filled. He was the tormenter, the guide, the comic relief, the "it will all be better big huge hugger", the ponytail pulling, gap toothed grinning, big hearted brother.
I wonder how much my children remember about him. When he died Austin was 8, Alana and Gavin were 4. Do they remember that he loved them more than anything in the world? Do they know that he would have done anything in the world for them? I know they don't know that he tried so hard to have me give him one of them to raise as his own. And he was completely serious. Does Austin remember all the days that even though Mike was tired he still always made time to take him on a tractor ride, or let him help with something in the garage. Austin thought the sun rose and set in his butt. There was no one in the world that Austin loved more than Mike. He had such a bond with him that I know came from him being one of the few people that were there for me during Austin's first year and the horribleness that it was. If it wasn't for him, mom, and Pat, I wouldn't have survived 1999.
Alana. She says she misses him and remembers things about him. But that is hard for me to believe. When she came around Mike started being missing a lot. He missed so much of Alana & Gavin's lives because of her. Does she remember that he started her nickname Boogerbutt? And how he was always grossed out because of her constantly running nose?
I remember the first day after he had passed. I drove to mom's house and his truck was in the driveway and like it always did, my heart skipped a beat because I was so happy to see my brother (He had just started coming around regularly again) only to realize that it was only his truck. I remember a ton of bad stuff but I am not going to dwell on it. I remember so many good things and the closeness that we had finally regained once she left the picture. I wish to GOD every day that he would have listened to me and left to go to MO to see grandma & grandpa for Thanksgiving. I wish I could have convinced him. I never want to relive that night and thankfully it has become a lot less frequent in the last year. My heart rebreaks everytime that I remember something else or find something else. Every milestone that I make that he never did makes me sad. He never saw 30. he never bought his own house. He never knew the wonder of seeing his first born baby all bloody and ugly. So many things that he never got to do. He always said he would die young. I just wish he had been wrong.
So in tribute to my brother, Michael Ray Haynes, I ask you all to live your life to the fullest because you never know what is going to happen. Dance like no one is watching, Sing like no one is listening, and Love like there is no tomorrow. Because there just might not be.
Forever missing my big brother; Rest in Peace Mikey, 11-22-07. I will never forget.
Great Expectations
I have come to the conclusion that I am putting too many expectations on people and their ability to not hurt me. Unfortunately, there are many flaws with this scenario. Everyone has their own agenda, everyone has their own plans, and everyone has their own demons. I hate feeling hurt and it is taking me a long time to get where I am. I am no where near done healing and I am no where close to perfect. I am just me. I mess up, I do good, I hurt people even though I try my hardest not to, I am trying to be the best wife and mother that I can be.
This past week was very emotional for me. I got to reconnect with a very good friend. We haven't been able to spend much time together for a while again because of hurts. I hurt her and she hurt me and it sucks. But we are still friends and we will be that way forever. It is kind of the ebb and flow of true friendships. I cried leaving her house. Why? I am not 100% sure. It was a happy/sad/longing/reminiscent cry. I miss the days before my life got screwy. I miss the Friday night dinners that we always did. Then I got divorced and things got messy.
I also got to stay with my best friend for a few days while I was back in the old homestate. I miss her as much as I miss my son. It is hard going from seeing her every day (almost) to every couple months.
Friendships are so weird. I have some of the most diverse friendships of anyone I know. I only have a handful of friends that are my age. My 3 best friends are 27, 31, and 41. I also have become very close with a 49 year old and a 66 year old. These friendships have been part of shaping me into who I am today and have been crucial to my life as it were. I have had and lost other friendships that I thought would be forever. Even one of my best friend's friendship may be lost beyond repair.
I have lost friendships for some of the most stupid reasons and some reasons I don't even know why. But the one that puzzles me most is someone who I reconnected with many years ago who I thought I would never see again. Then fate brought us back together. Then again shit got messy. I hit the WORST spot in my life and I HAD to get the hell out of my hometown before I went crazy. And unfortunately I tried to keep her but it didn't work. And she hasn't spoken to me since. And there are so many days that it haunts me. I honestly thought that we would be friends until the end. one of my longest friendships destroyed.
Because of this (in part) I have become very cynical. BUT I do still believe that people are put into your life for a reason. I have met someone who I instantly clicked with. She is quickly becoming very important person in my life. She reminds me a lot of my mom. That is very comforting.
While I was in IL I did get a chance to see one of my brothers and my sister. I tried to see my dad and my other brother but things didn't work out. Again with the 'great expectations'. Gavin had a birthday. He is now 8.
My son got braces on on Oct. 11. It makes me sad because he is growing up way too fast for my liking. They all are. I have always heard people say that you need to "enjoy them while they are young, because it will pass in a blink of an eye". I always thought "they" were exaggerating. They.Weren't. So hug those babies (no matter how old your babies are) and enjoy every moment.
This past week was very emotional for me. I got to reconnect with a very good friend. We haven't been able to spend much time together for a while again because of hurts. I hurt her and she hurt me and it sucks. But we are still friends and we will be that way forever. It is kind of the ebb and flow of true friendships. I cried leaving her house. Why? I am not 100% sure. It was a happy/sad/longing/reminiscent cry. I miss the days before my life got screwy. I miss the Friday night dinners that we always did. Then I got divorced and things got messy.
I also got to stay with my best friend for a few days while I was back in the old homestate. I miss her as much as I miss my son. It is hard going from seeing her every day (almost) to every couple months.
Friendships are so weird. I have some of the most diverse friendships of anyone I know. I only have a handful of friends that are my age. My 3 best friends are 27, 31, and 41. I also have become very close with a 49 year old and a 66 year old. These friendships have been part of shaping me into who I am today and have been crucial to my life as it were. I have had and lost other friendships that I thought would be forever. Even one of my best friend's friendship may be lost beyond repair.
I have lost friendships for some of the most stupid reasons and some reasons I don't even know why. But the one that puzzles me most is someone who I reconnected with many years ago who I thought I would never see again. Then fate brought us back together. Then again shit got messy. I hit the WORST spot in my life and I HAD to get the hell out of my hometown before I went crazy. And unfortunately I tried to keep her but it didn't work. And she hasn't spoken to me since. And there are so many days that it haunts me. I honestly thought that we would be friends until the end. one of my longest friendships destroyed.
Because of this (in part) I have become very cynical. BUT I do still believe that people are put into your life for a reason. I have met someone who I instantly clicked with. She is quickly becoming very important person in my life. She reminds me a lot of my mom. That is very comforting.
While I was in IL I did get a chance to see one of my brothers and my sister. I tried to see my dad and my other brother but things didn't work out. Again with the 'great expectations'. Gavin had a birthday. He is now 8.
My son got braces on on Oct. 11. It makes me sad because he is growing up way too fast for my liking. They all are. I have always heard people say that you need to "enjoy them while they are young, because it will pass in a blink of an eye". I always thought "they" were exaggerating. They.Weren't. So hug those babies (no matter how old your babies are) and enjoy every moment.
Katie Turns 2!
Katelynn Rae born September 7, 2009. weight 7lbs 9oz
Katelynn Rae 2 years September 7, 2011 weight 29lbs
I am still not sure how 2 years has passed. It seems like just yesterday we were waiting for your arrival. You were born absolutely perfect. The sweetest, lovey-est, cuddliest baby girl. And here you are a 2 an absolutely perfect, beautiful, cupcake loving, big brothers & sister annoying, wonderful, ball of energy that LOVES Dora!
You talk constantly and you amaze me with all you know and understand. You have a touch of daddy's temper (HA!) and you have him wrapped around your teeny fingers. Your brothers and sister are probably annoyed with me and all the stuff that you do actually get away with that they never were allowed to. There are perks to being the baby. ;o)
You are very easily frustrated when things aren't going your way or I am not understanding what you are meaning. Thankfully you are very articulate and I can usually understand most of what you say. You have some of the curliest hair that I have ever seen on a baby. I LOVE them! You are starting to like me doing your hair which is cool. Alana likes to do your hair too but I have to watch her after the "incident" with the comb.
Katelynn Rae 2 years September 7, 2011 weight 29lbs
I am still not sure how 2 years has passed. It seems like just yesterday we were waiting for your arrival. You were born absolutely perfect. The sweetest, lovey-est, cuddliest baby girl. And here you are a 2 an absolutely perfect, beautiful, cupcake loving, big brothers & sister annoying, wonderful, ball of energy that LOVES Dora!
You talk constantly and you amaze me with all you know and understand. You have a touch of daddy's temper (HA!) and you have him wrapped around your teeny fingers. Your brothers and sister are probably annoyed with me and all the stuff that you do actually get away with that they never were allowed to. There are perks to being the baby. ;o)
You are very easily frustrated when things aren't going your way or I am not understanding what you are meaning. Thankfully you are very articulate and I can usually understand most of what you say. You have some of the curliest hair that I have ever seen on a baby. I LOVE them! You are starting to like me doing your hair which is cool. Alana likes to do your hair too but I have to watch her after the "incident" with the comb.
Finally Fall or maybe Forget about Fall
When you wake up and it is 49 degrees outside you can't deny that fall is here. I am not ready for cold weather again. It seems like I just got done with winter. But I have to say, it is absolutely adorable watching Katie be chilly and cuddle up under her blanket. She is just too adorable. Corn has been picked in the field behind me, I haven't mowed the grass for about a month now (and I don't have the city on my butt either! lol, and my poor pool hasn't gotten any action for about a month either. So much for thinking that I would get to use it longer here than in IL!
So on for the fall/winter preparations. I have went through Alana & Katie's closet and got rid of most of their obviously summer clothes. Now I need to do Gavin's and Austin's. So right now my bedroom is a hodgepodge of totes, space bags and boxes of clothes, fall decorations, Halloween things, and my general messiness. For the first time in a while I am not dreading fall. It's kind of weird.
I have been working on my new project. It is a home based business.I am not sure what will come out of it but I hope good stuff. I started on my first bigger project. This one is for a friend and I hope to gain a lot of experience with it. I am having fun doing it! I am branching out with a few more things.
So on for the fall/winter preparations. I have went through Alana & Katie's closet and got rid of most of their obviously summer clothes. Now I need to do Gavin's and Austin's. So right now my bedroom is a hodgepodge of totes, space bags and boxes of clothes, fall decorations, Halloween things, and my general messiness. For the first time in a while I am not dreading fall. It's kind of weird.
I have been working on my new project. It is a home based business.I am not sure what will come out of it but I hope good stuff. I started on my first bigger project. This one is for a friend and I hope to gain a lot of experience with it. I am having fun doing it! I am branching out with a few more things.
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